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Did you think of this scheme in a VISION. It is visionary.
Why would anyone post their comments here when the blog is where the comments are supposed to be. Just a suggestion...maybe you should allow comments in your blog. Blogs are meant to commented on.
read the Me, Myself And The Road post on Sting's blog, a very well written n nice story
Things are supposed to happen the way they happen. And the reason they happen the way the happen is because you try to make them happen in a certain way and may or may not be succesful.
DQ wrote:Simple question, how many of you (if you have household help) allow them to sit with you at the table ?
where in the world do household help to sit at the same table with the master and eat? even in developed countries, do u see butlers, maids, gardners n drivers sitting n eating meals with their masters?
DQ wrote:Let alone that, most places I have noticed, their utensils are seprate too !!!
...and in thousands of other households, the household help plays an important role in cooking meals and taking care of babies.
DQ wrote:There is so much more that goes unnoticed and thats exactly what I am trying to potray.
blatant exploitation does exist everywhere, not necessarily only in India.
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me
CtrlAltDel wrote:where in the world do household help to sit at the same table with the master and eat? even in developed countries, do u see butlers, maids, gardners n drivers sitting n eating meals with their masters?
1. Do not want to compare at all 2. Well if they do not, let them not. 3. If they do not the blog is for them too, its for all humans to truly understand equality. If you beleive in equality it has to be constant. 4. In Iran I know, that every body sits at the same table. Whatever they maybe. 5. Countries like Australia, "incases where household help is used", if needed they dine and wine together. 6. Masters !!! "Word only used by the Royal families and thier heir in these days" and they to need to chage.
CtrlAltDel wrote:...and in thousands of other households, the household help plays an important role in cooking meals and taking care of babies.
yes apart from this, they are not allowed to sit to gether. not use the same utensils to eat food. Ayya ka plate / glass alag hota hain!!
[/quote]blatant exploitation does exist everywhere, not necessarily only in India.[/quote]
True, But my very first blog addresses this
Unfortunately, one such section of the Indian society, does not enjoy this right.
This blog is dedicated to this strata of society. The Domestic Helper and their exploitation
If you want to represent any other strata, start a blog or a post for them!!
Would be a good read.
Tu jo sachchi hai larazti kyun hai aye zaban bol de darti kyun hai
qalb men khowfe khuda hai tere phir zuban sach se jhijhakti kyun hai
An old muslim woman came to my mum, crying and weeping and asking for some monetary help and a place to live. She told us she had nowhere to go and her step-children had pusher her out of the house. Since we were in need of a house help we said alright she could stay at our place. We gave her room which is next to my moms bedroom. We were using it as store room. We cleaned it for her use.
1. The first day she asked us how much are we going to pay her. We thought since she was living in our house and we didnt charge her anything for rent or food we would give her enough money to take care of her medicine and all. But she said she wants more. We agreed at Rs. 750. Plus she said she wouldnt cook. My mum said Ok.. dont worry she would cook for all of us. Since she like cooking and all.
2. We allowed her to eat at the same table as we do. She was practically a member of the house. We shared everything we got.. sweets.. Mirchi-bhaji and all. Never did we pass on old food to her or anything like that. She seemed to be content for some time a week or 15 days.
But then the trouble began. My mum works and takes care of our business and early in the morning she is in a rush. She is very particular about cleanliness and order in the house. And she instructed the maid to clean the house properly... to our shock she started answering back. And saying that she wouldnt do it. This went on for few days and one fine day I got to know about it. Even I dont have the guts to answer back to my mum. And I saw this lady back answering my mum in a loud voice. I was pissed.
We didnt fire her from work but we asked her to move out of the house and take a home of her own. She doesnt work at our home, she works as ayya at my mums office. Now she is pleading with us to take her back into the house. But once the trust is broken it wont be the same again.
I think by allowing the lady to become a part of our house, we broke the cardinal rule for master-servant interaction. Since we let her be a part of our family, she thought she would do as she pleases and we wouldnt say anything. I am all for equality and all.. but people have to understand their position. We made ourselves vulnerable by allowing her into the family.
After this bitter experience I probably will never allow any work person close to our family again.
Yes I agree there is exploitation of workers... but in any relationship be it master-servant, company-employee one person is exploiting and the other person is getting exploited for his/her needs.
PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONAL: ITS YOUR CALL TO DISCUSS A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
asli_badmash wrote:Here is what happened at my place...
An old muslim woman came to my mum, crying and weeping and asking for some monetary help and a place to live. She told us she had nowhere to go and her step-children had pusher her out of the house. Since we were in need of a house help we said alright she could stay at our place. We gave her room which is next to my moms bedroom. We were using it as store room. We cleaned it for her use.
This paragraph ascertains that it was your need to employ her. There was a lady out there, who was desparate, she had no one in the world. Her own had kicked her out ?
I would not be surprised if your family knew this lady for atleast a generation over you. Or was she some stranger who turned up one fine day.
asli_badmash wrote:1. The first day she asked us how much are we going to pay her. We thought since she was living in our house and we didnt charge her anything for rent or food we would give her enough money to take care of her medicine and all. But she said she wants more. We agreed at Rs. 750. Plus she said she wouldnt cook. My mum said Ok.. dont worry she would cook for all of us. Since she like cooking and all.
750 was being paid as a donation / charity or fees (pay) for the services she was going to provide ?
If you were employing her, it should have been your terms and not hers. You could have refused employment, and assisted her in some other way to help her out.
asli_badmash wrote:2. We allowed her to eat at the same table as we do. She was practically a member of the house. We shared everything we got.. sweets.. Mirchi-bhaji and all. Never did we pass on old food to her or anything like that. She seemed to be content for some time a week or 15 days.
What was the age of the lady, 45 - 50 or 25 -30? Whatever, Alone in this world, no other family, no other source of income. Would Mirchi bhajji solve her problems.
I presume her contention was to have found security, was to see a sense of belonging. Good on you not to alienate her but to make her feel a part of the family.
But at some point all of you including herself knew that it was not going to be all along.
If you answer compassion / Charity to any of my questions above, then you guys should have looked at elimination of the problem, rather then a fake guest treatment. And if it was employment, then you were showing fake compassion just to make her indebted to you so that she continues being your household slave?
asli_badmash wrote:But then the trouble began. My mum works and takes care of our business and early in the morning she is in a rush. She is very particular about cleanliness and order in the house. And she instructed the maid to clean the house properly... to our shock she started answering back. And saying that she wouldnt do it. This went on for few days and one fine day I got to know about it. Even I dont have the guts to answer back to my mum. And I saw this lady back answering my mum in a loud voice. I was pissed.
Forgive me, but if I am particular about something, I take care of it myself. At most I appreciate assistance provided to me, but no I do not put the entire responsibility on some one else.
Answering back and arguements happen in every family, if she was a part of your family ? Well every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Had your mothers being particular, started being too particular ?
That is the general tendancy in these relations, as days pass you start expecting more and more, and the maids expectation that it should reduce less and less.
As there are no clear cut rules and policy and terms that are defined. You can order a servant to suspend all other work and clean the utensils but cannot control his response, how quick and well he will clean the utensils, how many utensils he will break etc. We all know how much exactly, we can control the servant We all know the consequences, if we are rude, harsh, physically or verbally abusive with the servant.We have got to be polite with him and respect his sensibilities. We must distinguish between Master-Servant and Master-Slave relationship.
asli_badmash wrote:We didnt fire her from work but we asked her to move out of the house and take a home of her own. She doesnt work at our home, she works as ayya at my mums office. Now she is pleading with us to take her back into the house. But once the trust is broken it wont be the same again.
Why did you not fire her ?
There was a need somewhere else for her ?
I look at it from this prespective, if i do not like a job, I go out and chage jobs. The despration of these people is even after being rebuked, they still need to kill their ego and take whatever you have to offer.
asli_badmash wrote:I think by allowing the lady to become a part of our house, we broke the cardinal rule for master-servant interaction. Since we let her be a part of our family, she thought she would do as she pleases and we wouldnt say anything. I am all for equality and all.. but people have to understand their position. We made ourselves vulnerable by allowing her into the family.
I think I have Clarified on the Master - Servant and Master - Slave relationship. Calling it Master - Servant does not help, where in time and again I see that this sort of a relationship can more appropriately be defined as a Master Slave one (Talk about abolishing slavery)
asli_badmash wrote:After this bitter experience I probably will never allow any work person close to our family again.
Yes you should not, but if you want to be a good samaritan and help a lady in need, address the needs rather then exploiting them as the situation warrants.
asli_badmash wrote:Yes I agree there is exploitation of workers... but in any relationship be it master-servant, company-employee one person is exploiting and the other person is getting exploited for his/her needs.
[/quote]
(Previous experience show that you tend to mix discussions up and later come back with suggestions that In an arguement there has to be acceptance. True, acceptance to what is being argued. Not other notions being put through.)
Here let me be very clear, We are discussing the exploitation of the House hold maid. Please do not include other exploitations Employer / employee etc. Which again is a different chapter altogether.
Tu jo sachchi hai larazti kyun hai aye zaban bol de darti kyun hai
qalb men khowfe khuda hai tere phir zuban sach se jhijhakti kyun hai
CtrlAltDel wrote:where in the world do household help to sit at the same table with the master and eat? even in developed countries, do u see butlers, maids, gardners n drivers sitting n eating meals with their masters?
1. Do not want to compare at all 2. Well if they do not, let them not. 3. If they do not the blog is for them too, its for all humans to truly understand equality. If you beleive in equality it has to be constant. 4. In Iran I know, that every body sits at the same table. Whatever they maybe. 5. Countries like Australia, "incases where household help is used", if needed they dine and wine together. 6. Masters !!! "Word only used by the Royal families and thier heir in these days" and they to need to chage.
CtrlAltDel wrote:...and in thousands of other households, the household help plays an important role in cooking meals and taking care of babies.
yes apart from this, they are not allowed to sit to gether. not use the same utensils to eat food. Ayya ka plate / glass alag hota hain!!
blatant exploitation does exist everywhere, not necessarily only in India.[/quote]
True, But my very first blog addresses this
Unfortunately, one such section of the Indian society, does not enjoy this right. This blog is dedicated to this strata of society. The Domestic Helper and their exploitation
If you want to represent any other strata, start a blog or a post for them!! Would be a good read. [/quote]
Dude...communism has been an utter failure everywhere. Equality of classes has never existed and will never exist anywhere.
Let's look at some points you've raised here. You talk about domestic help dining at the same table with their employers...and that the utensils belonging to domesti help are separate from the rest of the lot. Can you guarantee that the domestic help will keep up the same levels of hygiene as the others in the household? Let me tell you something that happened at my place. There was a municipal sweeper who used to lean up our society compound in Ahmedabad. We stayed on the ground floor and so, this lady and her kids used to get water from our place. One fine day, I see this lady washing her grandson's @$$ with some cold water from our fridge. So much so for equality.
What exactly do you mean by equality here? Do you mean that my domestic help should be allowed to sleep in an airconditioned room just like me? Or that domestic help should hae access to a luury sedan if his/her employer owns one?
There should be respect due to a fellow human being in the way a domestic help is treated. And beyond that, I don't feel it to be any obligation that I should consider my domestic help my equal. And IMO, most of the households today, do give their domestic help that respect. I fail to see what this hullaboo is all about.
Habitual Perfectionist wrote:One fine day, I see this lady washing her grandson's @$$ with some cold water from our fridge.
:d What did you do after that?
Gave her some water from the tap and warned her that ice-cold water might make the kid's @$$ sore.
She probably wanted a cooling effect on the kid's bum.
On the serious note, you're right about everything in your posting. I've observed how domestic helpers sometimes take advantage of the generosity of their employers.. there has to be a limit set somewhere.
Wouldn't the 'domestic helpers' themselves feel akward/embarrased if they were made to sit with the 'master of the house' at mealtimes?
And DQ bhai, your blog is good, well-written, and does evoke emotion, but in most households today, I see domestic help getting more and more respect (which is a good thing, don't get me wrong!)
The whole pt is, I think they would prefer it themselves to use their own utensils and maintain their own mealtimes so that they do not have to observe rules of the house and sit down formally at mealtimes, etc...
Habitual Perfectionist wrote:Dude...communism has been an utter failure everywhere. Equality of classes has never existed and will never exist anywhere.
The basic and first Fundamental Rights of every Indian Citizen. Right of Equality Everybody is equal.
Habitual Perfectionist wrote: Let's look at some points you've raised here. You talk about domestic help dining at the same table with their employers...and that the utensils belonging to domesti help are separate from the rest of the lot. Can you guarantee that the domestic help will keep up the same levels of hygiene as the others in the household?
Is that why you hire them to wash your dishes ? Hygiene !!
Habitual Perfectionist wrote:Let me tell you something that happened at my place. There was a municipal sweeper who used to lean up our society compound in Ahmedabad. We stayed on the ground floor and so, this lady and her kids used to get water from our place. One fine day, I see this lady washing her grandson's @$$ with some cold water from our fridge. So much so for equality.
So ? If you purport that allowing her to use your fridge was equality, then it was upto her to use the water the way she wanted.
If not, you were allowing some one to infringe on your right, you have the right to refuse the muncipal cleaner a right of entry into your house.
Habitual Perfectionist wrote: What exactly do you mean by equality here? Do you mean that my domestic help should be allowed to sleep in an airconditioned room just like me? Or that domestic help should hae access to a luury sedan if his/her employer owns one?
Why not ? Looks like the blog and post is hurting your ego.
Habitual Perfectionist wrote:There should be respect due to a fellow human being in the way a domestic help is treated. And beyond that, I don't feel it to be any obligation that I should consider my domestic help my equal. And IMO, most of the households today, do give their domestic help that respect. I fail to see what this hullaboo is all about.
My equal ??? Fellow human being, (not drinking in the same container they drink water in, not allowing them to sit at the same level you sit at, either stand or sit on the floor, !!!! Fellow Human being)
What respect.
Hopelessely underpaying them ?
Showing them that they cannot eat and drink in the same utensil.
Benefitting from their current status, overworking them. Abusing them as you will.
Not giving them a chance to develop. 100s of houses where the household help has been a house hold help from 2 to 3 generations. Is thsi not careful exploitation by the employers.
Tu jo sachchi hai larazti kyun hai aye zaban bol de darti kyun hai
qalb men khowfe khuda hai tere phir zuban sach se jhijhakti kyun hai
the kaamwali at my home does work in atleat 4-5 other places earning equal if not more money from each house hold.
she is not poor by any means. she spent a lakh of rupees on her daighters marriage.
as far as giving her equal status in concerened I dont think its needed as long as u dont over work them or abuse them.
u pay them for what they do and thats it.
why get so senti?
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
It is visionary.
We agreed at Rs. 750. Plus she said she wouldnt cook. My mum said Ok.. dont worry she would cook for all of us. Since she like cooking and all.
