A platonic marraige?

[Fluere]

Hi folks,
I should share this with you and get your expert opinions..
I had a friend who came back back from the US and got married to a girl from Hyderabad. Both loved and trusted each other so much as friends that they couldnt see life beyond each other but at the same time did not want a normal marriage including intimacy. They decided to not comsummate their relationship for six long years. After six yrs, their marraige broke up so bitterly that it could not be saved. The wife dumped him..the reason being she wanted to have sex after all these yrs..and the poor guy who had been abstinate for six yrs couldnt get himself to doing it.

[Kenny]

Both loved and trusted each other so much as friends that they couldnt see life beyond each other but at the same time did not want a normal marriage including intimacy.

Dude... if this really happened... I don't think they should've gotten married in the first place!!

[CtrlAltDel]

my $0.02:

the guy is impotent and tried to coverup his inadequacy with some hogwash about "love", "trust", "abstinence" etc etc.

i fully support his wife for walking out. she mght have been a traditional type to have endured 6 years of "nothing" and its no surprise she snapped in the end.

[asli_badmash]

The Dude is gay. This guys looks to be very nice, understanding person. He was so pissed with his wife not giving him poon-tang he crossed to the other side. He must have met Raj on the way...

But seriously.. I dont think the dude has a problem. I think the lady just wanted sex for making babies. And the dude felt so denied.. he said to her.... To hell with you. I dont want to make babies with you. Bye Bye...

Sex is an important for intimacy. You said these people were married but didnt consumate. I dont think they loved each other enough. When people love each other and they get married, the next obvious step is to have sex. If that didnt happen, the marriage was a sham.

[Scorpion's Sting]

Hi folks,
I should share this with you and get your expert opinions..
I had a friend who came back back from the US and got married to a girl from Hyderabad. Both loved and trusted each other so much as friends that they couldnt see life beyond each other but at the same time did not want a normal marriage including intimacy. They decided to not comsummate their relationship for six long years. After six yrs, their marraige broke up so bitterly that it could not be saved. The wife dumped him..the reason being she wanted to have sex after all these yrs..and the poor guy who had been abstinate for six yrs couldnt get himself to doing it.

I think thts where the problem is. I guess the two just like each other very much. They probably didn't give enough time to understanding the relationship they held. There is a BIG difference between liking someone and loving someone.

Then again, the eternal question - "Wht is love? How do you know if u love someone?" Love is just an emotion, maybe something more complex like a collection of emotions.

*reads the last para*

*wonders whts gotten into him*

*decides tht he has gone mad*

[asli_badmash]

Then again, the eternal question - How do you know if u love someone?"

Being in love is like farting in a discotheque. You and only you would know you farted... others just know something is differernt about you.

Similarly... When you are in love you and only you would know taht you love someone!

[Scorpion's Sting]

Then again, the eternal question - How do you know if u love someone?"

Being in love is like farting in a discotheque.

That may explain how you feel in love (using a very wierd simile )

But, hoe do you know who is the person tht u love?? Ure fart obviously cant tell u that. Or maybe only the one u love can smell ure fart

[asli_badmash]

Then again, the eternal question - How do you know if u love someone?"

Being in love is like farting in a discotheque.

That may explain how you feel in love (using a very wierd simile )

But, hoe do you know who is the person tht u love?? Ure fart obviously cant tell u that. Or maybe only the one u love can smell ure fart

Thats filthy.. Dont try this to find out if someone loves you.

Any feelings of yours is generally directed towards an individual at one point of time in your life. So you would know. Exception, You can have two loves at one time... but one of them you would love more than the other in some way. Its simple!

[Scorpion's Sting]

Any feelings of yours is generally directed towards an individual at one point of time in your life. So you would know. Exception, You can have two loves at one time... but one of them you would love more than the other in some way. Its simple!

Tht takes us back to square 1. How do you know whether you love someone or like someone? You may like someone but mistake it for love as i think happened to the ppl in the first post of the thread. They misunderstood their relationship and later realised that it cud not wrk out.

[asli_badmash]

Any feelings of yours is generally directed towards an individual at one point of time in your life. So you would know. Exception, You can have two loves at one time... but one of them you would love more than the other in some way. Its simple!

Tht takes us back to square 1. How do you know whether you love someone or like someone? You may like someone but mistake it for love as i think happened to the ppl in the first post of the thread. They misunderstood their relationship and later realised that it cud not wrk out.

No third party can say for sure if the couple was in love or they just liked each other. We can only speculate and propound theories. The turth still remains with the individuals who were involved.

Thats what I mean by farting in the disco!

[Scorpion's Sting]

No third party can say for sure if the couple was in love or they just liked each other. We can only speculate and propound theories. The turth still remains with the individuals who were involved.

OK, ill accept that but i was just saying wht i think happened.

But that doesn't answer the first part of my post

How do you know whether you love someone or like someone?

There is no definite answer to this question anywhere so far....

[asli_badmash]

But that doesn't answer the first part of my post

How do you know whether you love someone or like someone?

There is no definite answer to this question anywhere so far....

You are right there is no formula to find out if you love someone or just like them. You just figure it out yourself. Everybody uses different parameters to arrive at the answer. But they do arrive at some conclusion.. wrong or right is very subjective. This is one place where no definite logic applies. It all subjective.

See it this way; you are not alone in this dilemma!

[azazel]

read this somewhere, dunno how it fits here tho..

Your true soul-mate is the one with whom u can sit on the porch for a long time and not say a word to each other. And, when u get up and leave, u feel like it was the best conversation u ever had

I should share this with you and get your expert opinions.

er.. i fail to see ur point could u be a lil more specific??
whatever happened, if it did, the end was the most appropriate one. i think the girl took a really looooong time to make her decision, 6 years damn

[malakpetmasala]

Hi folks,
I should share this with you and get your expert opinions..
I had a friend who came back back from the US and got married to a girl from Hyderabad. Both loved and trusted each other so much as friends that they couldnt see life beyond each other but at the same time did not want a normal marriage including intimacy. They decided to not comsummate their relationship for six long years. After six yrs, their marraige broke up so bitterly that it could not be saved. The wife dumped him..the reason being she wanted to have sex after all these yrs..and the poor guy who had been abstinate for six yrs couldnt get himself to doing it.

6 years is a long time.... i wonder how she survived!!!

[malakpetmasala]

The Dude is gay. This guys looks to be very nice, understanding person. He was so pissed with his wife not giving him poon-tang he crossed to the other side. He must have met Raj on the way...

But seriously.. I dont think the dude has a problem. I think the lady just wanted sex for making babies. And the dude felt so denied.. he said to her.... To hell with you. I dont want to make babies with you. Bye Bye...

Sex is an important for intimacy. You said these people were married but didnt consumate. I dont think they loved each other enough. When people love each other and they get married, the next obvious step is to have sex. If that didnt happen, the marriage was a sham.

I think i ll go with CAD s comments about the guy being impotent, or as you have said, Gay... but being gay or impotent, he should nt have married her ruining her life for 6 solid years. If someone knew that they they are not married so they have to abstain from sex, its a different story, but knowing that u are married and still no sugar, builds up a lot of frustation, and really wonder how she could manage for 6 years being married and no sex!
Hats off to her patience!

[asli_badmash]

The Dude is gay. ...If that didnt happen, the marriage was a sham.

I think i ll go with CAD s comments about the guy being impotent, ... 6 years being married and no sex! Hats off to her patience!

We can all have opinions. What I would like to find out is why did the couple desist from intimacy. Who made the said proposal. And for what reason ?

I should share this with you and get your expert opinions

I dont think we have experts among us. Atleast I am not one. So what ever I say is an opinion.

BTW, if you want expert opinion go to Marraige therapists, counselors or someone who knows what they are talking about.

[Kenny]

I really don't see how they cd stay married for six years like that!

Were there problems even earlier.. or what?? Somehow I feel that Fluere has left out something important....if this really happened.

I've got a lot of good friends too but wouldn't marry them!! Weird that two ppl were so like-minded as to marry on basis of friendship...

[malakpetmasala]

I really don't see how they cd stay married for six years like that!

Were there problems even earlier.. or what?? Somehow I feel that Fluere has left out something important....if this really happened.

I've got a lot of good friends too but wouldn't marry them!! Weird that two ppl were so like-minded as to marry on basis of friendship...

strange..... this guy married his "friend" and they decided not to make love. and on the other hand, i know many people who have friends, make love but do not want to get married to each other. wise .... but Strange world haa

[salamehyderabad]

Darwins theory of Survival of the Fittest worked on him but not her....jus kiddin

[Jaan]

read this somewhere, dunno how it fits here tho..

Your true soul-mate is the one with whom u can sit on the porch for a long time and not say a word to each other. And, when u get up and leave, u feel like it was the best conversation u ever had

that is a beautiful quote, mammu.
i read something similar in a novel once, that your true mate is someone you can spend half hour with and not say a word in the peaceful silence.

as for the lady victim, poor thing. i dont blame her, and there must have been other obstacles in the relationship as well that added to the breakup, at least she got her priorities right.

Jaan

[azazel]

that is a beautiful quote, mammu.i read something similar in a novel once, that your true mate is someone you can spend half hour with and not say a word in the peaceful silence.

*phew* someone appreciated it! i thot me was the only one who found that beautiful enuff to be posted. which novel was that?

as for the lady victim, poor thing. i dont blame her, and there must have been other obstacles in the relationship as well that added to the breakup, at least she got her priorities right.

yea, wonder how she survived those 6 years! some ppl have oodles of patience.

[Jaan]

*phew* someone appreciated it! i thot me was the only one who found that beautiful enuff to be posted. which novel was that?

its from The Blue Castle written by authoress L.M. Montgomery, famous for her saga of Anne of Green Gables.
One of my absolute favorites!

Jaan

[Scorpion's Sting]

*phew* someone appreciated it! i thot me was the only one who found that beautiful enuff to be posted. which novel was that?

its from The Blue Castle written by authoress L.M. Montgomery, famous for her saga of Anne of Green Gables.
One of my absolute favorites!

Jaan

I think I remember reading something similar in the book Only Love Is Real by Dr. Brain L. Weiss

Or maybe I'm just delusional(sp?)

[azazel]

its from The Blue Castle written by authoress L.M. Montgomery, famous for her saga of Anne of Green Gables.
One of my absolute favorites!

no idea who she is but must be someone good enuff to have thought up a beautiful statement like that

n SS2 --> u are delusional