XXX 2 (Hindi)

Going by the theory that you should never leave well enough alone, Columbia Pictures has released a sequel to XXX. XXX2 does what other Hollywood action flicks which vie with each other to save the God-blessed America do. Only, it makes them all look good.

XXX2 starts from where XXX didn't end. Hastily doing away with any need of linking the two movies, XXX (Vin Diesel) is proclaimed dead at the onset itself. NSA agent Gibbons (Samuel L Jackson) decides to recruit Darius Stone (Ice Cube), who is equipped with the credentials of being jail-decked for the last 9 years. Gibbons could not have mistaken Stone for anything but XXX2, even if you yourself take him for a minor sidekick recruited to generate laughter now and then. He fits the bill so well that you wonder if he paid his way into the movie.

Let's refresh what we learnt about being XXX, going by the previous movie, which was stylish if stupid. XXX has to be a guy who is into extremes - extreme sports, extreme tattoos, extremely closely-shaved head etc. Cube, too, is into extremes - extreme appetite, extreme rotundity and extremely blank looks.

Then, XXX has to be a guy who sports lean women and mean machines with ease, and still doesn't appear nonsensical. Cube, too, sports - a pout and a potbelly, and still doesn't appear nonsensical.

Finally, XXX must be street-savvy, understand the intricacies of national security more than the President does, and be able to utter a few monosyllables with curled-up lips. Cube is burger-savvy, understands the intricate details of fizz-generation and is able to mutter full phrases like 'freedom will not be free', with curled lips.

So Darius Stone is XXX, savior of America, himself saved miraculously from jail by agent Gibbons. Together, they team up with Toby Shavers (Michael Roof) to prepare the ground for scenes involving blazing fires, hovering choppers, fire-spitting tanks and glorious explosions bringing disintegrated vehicle parts into focus - in short, scenes of pure bliss for the action buffs.

And, of course, the rationale for creating all this mammoth wreck is to save America. For once, the danger is from an unbearded and unturbaned threat from within. The Secretary Of Defense, George Deckert (Willem Dafoe), is planning an innovative coup at the White House. He thinks that he will look better than President Sanford (Peter Strauss) does in the hot seat, and garners allies in the army units to bring a hasty shift.

Being a self-proclaimed patriot, Deckert can also not bear another boring State of the Union Address by Sanford. He decides to preempt it with a full-fledged attack and Presidential assassination.

Stone, in the meantime, is building his own team - of Zeke (Xzibit), the chop-shop boss, Lola (Nona Gaye), the bulky car dealer, and Kyle Steele (Scott Speedman), NSA agent. After a sequence of unprogrammed and uncoordinated random attempts at stunts, Stone manages to save the President and the country.

Lee Tamahori with Die Another Day under his belt decided it was time to end the embarrassment of being a good director, and so went ahead with XXX2. To make sure that this one didn't have a chance to make good, he made Ice Cube play the unbelievable lead. For added measure, he used some dull, exhausted humor, making sure that actors like Samuel L Jackson and Dafoe are completely wasted in the movie.

What bothers you most is that Stone's safely fading into retirement will give Gibbons ideas of a XXX3.