Hum Ho Gaye Aap Ke

The end credits say that this movie was "felt and made by Ahathian". The only thing that he must have felt was 'inspired' - this is a rehash of about five other movies, and not too well done at that. Hum Ho Gaye Aapke is very clearly a remake of the Telugu hit 'Gokulamlo Seetha', which was a remake itself. I suppose this is what happens when you make a copy of a copy - it turns out nowhere close to the original.

Rishi (Fardeen Khan) is the only son of an indulgent Dad (Suresh Oberoi), and Dad practically pushes sonny on the turning away. Result? Our man becomes a slave of alcohol who considers women to be playthings. His college friend Mohan (a very sobby and childish Apurva Agnihotri) who works for him falls in love with Chandni (Reema Sen), a local beauty queen. At the same time, Rishi lusts for her and even makes the 'indecent proposal'.

Somewhere here Chandni agrees to marry Mohan, like she was doing him a huge favor - and more, he even profusely thanks her! But since this can't be, misunderstandings occur and she agrees to marry her mother's choice. Wimpy Mohan asks his boss to whisk her away from the wedding, and after all this he finally refuses to marry her because his parents don't want it. This is such a ridiculous scene - while on-screen everybody's crying, the audience is laughing.

Now the damsel has nowhere to go, so our womanizer offers to take her home and she accepts. So logical, isn't it? Now it's pretty straightforward how she reforms Rishi, rejects the moping Mohan and helps herself to a piece of the 'pretty princess' pie. Obviously love happens, and then twist happens, and finally our lovelorn loner and dainty damsel reconcile in a local train compartment.

Let us begin the post-mortem (that's what it will be anyway, because this film isn't going anywhere) by saying that directors these days seem to forget the implications of the story and seem to be taking audiences for those cute animals with bells tied around their necks. Reema, her mother and her sister apparently live on her father's pension, yet she wears all those amazing clothes and lives in a fancy hostel. And the 'poor' people live in a huge house to boot.

Apurva Agnihotri's character is so pathetic, it makes a 6-year-old look mature. Fardeen Khan, if and when he comes out of his (here, justified) highs, manages to come up with an expression here and an emotion there - if only he would stop trying to do SRK all the time. Reema Sen is the complete ice maiden - she looks like she's still in a music video. As long as she doesn't try to half-smile she looks okay. But she's a light year away from acting.

If the film doesn't remind the viewers, Southern especially, of a hundred other movies (Ramma Chilakamma too), maybe it will do okay. But by the looks of it, there's only one way this film's going.