Jurassic Park - 3 (English)

Just when you thought that trilogies had bitten the dust, here's another highly disturbing triquel. JP3 begins to scare you right from the beginning when you notice that there is no mention of Steven Spielberg or Michael Crichton anywhere in the credits. You begin to hyperventilate, and it dawns upon you that this is just another regular big destruction film.

Things begin to go to hell in the proverbial hand basket when a guy and his son act out their suicidal desire by parasailing off the coast of Isla Sorna. And this is no ordinary island, mind you. It's got more human chomping dinos than there are piranhas in the Amazon. Well, obviously, for that smidgen of monstrous moronity, things go awry.

Enter Sam Neill, who plays Alan Grant, a paleontologist who's having a tough time with his capital reserves. He meets this couple Tea Leoni and William Macey who coerce him to return to Hammond's original Jurassic Park to give them an aerial tour of the place. Of course, there is some monetary consideration for the whole exercise. He tags along like a fool, and even takes one of his students with him.

Once they reach the island, the news is broken to Grant that they are there actually to look for the couple's son who was lost in the aforementioned parasailing incident. So for the next 95 minutes we watch a search party led by Grant and consisting of the Kirby couple, exposing themselves witlessly to dangers hitherto unknown and unseen. They indulge in every conceivable stupidity short of hopping straight into a dino's mouth and waiting for it to clamp shut.

The dinos themselves are great. They're bigger and better than ever, and we not only have to contend with tongue-twisting names like Tyrannosaurus and Pteranodons, but also have to deal with a new species - Spinosaurus! And not only do the dinos chomp their way through the jungle, they also battle it out with each other. It's so corny, it makes Godzilla seem respectable, with its paper props and all.

Anyway, for the next 70 minutes we are subject to these puny humans trying to outsmart, outwit and outlive the dinos in their quest for survival. Only, it isn't as smart as it seems. The whole movie is riddled with clichés. Director Joe Johnston seems to have completely ignored the aspects of suspense, terror and creativity.

But the movie itself is beautifully produced and designed, and is a great catalogue of digital and animationic marvels. The beasts are so real-looking that you half expect them to jump off the screen and reach for your popcorn.

The human crew struggles to do its best in the absence of a script. The main lead Sam Neill is all right. If you thought he was cool in JP1, wait till you see him in this flick. Tea Leoni is absolutely moronic. The way she goes around shouting in an island of deadly raptors is to be seen to be believed. I don't know if dinos are smarter than humans, but they certainly are smarter than Tea Leoni. The rest of the cast shriek and die on cue thanks to the talents of Johnston.

That's about the entire movie. The finale is another story unto itself. Johnston is no match for Spielberg's talent, but makes the best use of the non-existent script and storyline. Unfortunately for this film, the dinos have the best lines.